WHEN I MET THE TEACHER

Sometime in our lives, all of us have been a part of these Parent-Teacher meets at school, either as a parent, a student or even a teacher.

 

During my schooldays, fortunately or unfortunately, there were no such meets. It was when I became a teacher, in a long forgotten ‘avatar’, that I entered the world of Parent Teacher meets.

Fresh out of teacher’s school, my first parent teacher meeting was a disaster. My first encounter was not with a parent, but a grandparent! He was obviously upset to see a chit of a girl, when he expected to see a stern looking, mature teacher. If his annoyance at that was not enough, it added to his anger that I was unable to answer his question.

“Why has over 75% of the class failed in mathematics?” he demanded of me angrily.

“Sir, you should ask the maths teacher,” I had stammered out.

That had angered him further. He had waved his walking stick in my face.

“You are the class teacher! You should know why the majority of the class failed. You should know why she failed,” he had said, pointing his stick at his granddaughter.

I could see the girl laughing at my discomfort; she was one of the troublemakers of my class and I am sure she had failed in maths just to annoy me.

“Over 90% of the class passed in Biology, “I had said hotly, that being the subject I taught.

 “Even your granddaughter!”

“What do you mean by even my granddaughter?” the old man had asked, now even more agitated.

Luckily, a senior teacher came to my rescue, and before I could put my foot more into my mouth, she pushed me aside and took over. She poured water over hot tempers effortlessly and efficiently handled the situation. I did not hear how she explained why the whole class had failed in maths, which I should have, as it would have been a gem of information to add to my knowledge.

That was my first and last Parent-Teacher meet as a teacher. I encountered this Parent-Teacher situation next when I became a parent. I accept the importance of such meetings, but one thing always boggles my mind. What do parents talk for so long with the teachers?

My conversations with the teachers at such meets are usually limited to asking how the child is in class; can he or she do better and does he or she misbehave. Then there is a short comment on the marks of the most recent test or report card. That is it! All over and done in under ten minutes! I feel great pleasure in handing over the place to the next in line. So, what do the parents talk for hours with the teacher? 

Okay, maybe the child is an under achiever, but is he going to achieve better if he is bombarded in public by his parents and teacher? And that too for minutes on end? I pity the child who has to face all this and squirms and wriggles in the chair, wishing he or she was somewhere else. Or is it that the child is so naughty, that the teacher needs hours to list out his or her pranks? Or is the child so brilliant that the teacher has to speak endlessly about him or her? What do you talk about when your child is neither too good or too bad?

“My son is so good. I wish that he would indulge in some fun, but all he does is study!”

This was the lament of a mother at one such meet, which I am sure took the teacher aback. I for one was really taken aback! Why lament that you have a model child, who studies when he is supposed to and even beyond? A child, who doesn’t keep checking messages on his mobile phone or playing games on it, when he is meant to be studying. A child, who doesn’t need the flimsiest of excuses to get distracted and escape from his or her chair to avoid paying attention to studies. Maybe it was the lady’s way of boasting of having such a perfect child! Rather, my lament to the teacher would be that I can’t get my child to study and that would surely get me a ‘look’ from the teacher who would consider me a bad parent because I can’t even manage a child, while he or she manages over 40 in a class and gets them to pass exams. Which would remind me that as a teacher the majority of my class didn’t pass in maths a few centuries ago!

I go on a guilt trip every time at these Parent-Teacher meet when I am quite relieved to get up after my few minutes of glory. More so, when I see the next lot of parents settling down for a cosy conversation with the teacher. First one parent and then the other, discusses and discusses endlessly with the teacher. They don’t even consider the fact that there are other parents waiting in line, who may have other important things to do. If my turn is next, I usually stand up and almost breathe down the neck of the parent sitting in front of the teacher, to indicate to get over with it fast and that I am waiting!

So, does this not talking for hours on end with the teacher and not having real serious discussions, make me a bad parent? I really don’t know, but maybe next time I will take a grandparent along to the meet to ask the right questions!!